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FAMILY (5x06)
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A review by Mikelangelo "MikeJer" Marinaro,
August 4, 2006

Writer: Joss Whedon
Director: Joss Whedon

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WARNING: This is a retrospective review and may contain SPOILERS. Read at your own discretion.

- Review

This is an episode that is fairly simplistic in its characterizations but still manages to provide solid entertainment. While not an example of Whedon's best work, there remains much to like about this one. The main plot is about Tara, her isolation from the Scooby Gang, and her family who comes to drag her home. There's also a handful of excellent small scenes that touch on issues ranging from the Buffy/Riley relationship to Spike's violent sexualized fantasies with Buffy (while actually having sex with Harmony) to a little more insight into Glory's methods and personality. The side material works a lot better than the core plot, which is mostly due to Tara's family being sadly one-sided, which is especially unusual for a Whedon episode. When the two aspects are mixed together, though, the result is still pretty entertaining.

The review shall begin as the episode begins: with Buffy telling Giles about Dawn and Glory. I must say I'm really impressed and pleased to see Buffy telling Giles about Glory and Dawn's true nature immediately. This is beautiful development and a trust that stems from Buffy's growth that began all the way back in "Revelations" (3x07) when she didn't tell Giles about Angel being back. I'm also pleased they decided not to tell anyone else about this. Buffy's logic here is spot-on, because when the other Scoobies find out about Dawn in "Blood Ties" (5x13), they do end up acting weird around her.

I like that, much later on, Buffy can 'sense' the demons in the room with her even though she couldn't see them. All that training and concentration excercise is paying off. I also liked how the Tara plot and the Glory plot interconnected. This is an entertaining little fight sequence which proves to be very refreshing. This episode isn't about Buffy though -- it's about Tara. Whedon tries hard to make us sympathize with her, too hard even. The whole episode is designed around making the viewers and the Scoobies feel like Tara is really part of the gang, and in that goal I feel it only partially succeeds, mostly due to how uninteresting and undeveloped her relatives are.

The setup to all of this begins when Tara is telling a joke that no one else understands. I do sympathize with her a bit; it's got to be tough to break into a close-knit group of friends like that, even putting aside the fact that she's Willow's lesbian girlfriend, which time-wise is still a very new thing for the rest of the group to absorb. This is emphasized even more when Buffy and Xander chat about what to get Tara for her birthday. Their comments perfectly reflect my thoughts on Tara as well at this point: Xander says, "Well, she's nice!" Buffy replies, "Yeah!" They also both express concern for fitting in at a likely heavy "Wicca crowd," but it really feels like they are both also talking about the possibility of there being a lot of lesbians there, in which case they both definitely wouldn't fit in. This subtext feels present throughout the entire episode which, no doubt about it, is very clever.

The big problem here, which I've already briefly mentioned, is Tara's family. From the moment Tara's brother walks in he comes across as single-minded and condescending. It's unfortunate he stays that way throughout the episode, and that the rest of Tara's family follow suit in simplicity. This is not the complexity of character I expect out of a Whedon-penned episode. One of the things that separates BtVS from other television shows is that things aren't so black and white. An evil man often has positive attributes and the heroes often have deeply negative attributes. No important character is just 'blah'. Tara's family, though, is 'blah' and has about zero complexity to them, which leaves me a bit disappointed. Besides Tara's father, the family member that irritated me the most was Beth. This is apparent especially in her scene with Tara outside the university. All she is doing is dutifully obeying their father and appears to have no redeeming qualities, exemplified by not having any consideration for Tara's feelings.

With all that said, I still enjoyed some of the small details in execution of the plot. The little moment when Tara is almost frightened to hug her own dad for exmample. She even says, "Yes sir" to him. There are some deeply-rooted problems here that the episode doesn't even bother to explore, although I did appreciate the little hint that there's more going on in relation to Tara's childhood. With men like that in her family, it's no wonder why she'd be more interested in girls for intimacy. I really enjoyed Amber Benson's acting when Tara is confronted about what she 'is' and that she's responsible for the group not being able to see their attackers. The way she says "I'm sorry" and scampers off is saddening, although she does deserve some of the anger directed at her. Willow makes a good point though. She says, "she just did a spell that went wrong." Willow knows from experience that that happens from time-to-time, and so does the whole group. Although the Scoobies standing up for Tara is a bit on the soggy side, it is admittedly pretty sweet. The same goes for the final scene where Tara and Willow float-dance together. I can suspend my cynicism every now and then. Really. :)

Even though the main plot did not work nearly as well as it could have, I did really enjoy all the other bits and pieces. Spike, for exmaple, fantasizing about having an extremely sexual fight with Buffy while actually having sex with Harmony. Very, very funny, and also very much reminds me of Buffy and Spike's violent encounter in "Smashed" (6x09). We definitely get to see exactly what it is Spike wants at this point: a fighter who he can spar with, an equal -- or better -- fighter than he, that is also very sexual. Buffy's, "oh, I'm coming!" is perfectly timed with an amusing cut. Harmony asks, "What are you thinking about." Spike smoothly replies, "all about you, baby."

I found Glory's comment interesting, about how 'common' vampire slayers are and how she's embarrassed that she even went so low as to fight with one. This gives the viewers a reason why she is not constantly going after Buffy herself. Yes Glory's often stupid, but people in positions of great power have historically often been pretty stupid as well. She expects to be catered to and treated like royalty: "when I enter a room all eyes turn to me and worship me!" At this point, anyway, I must say that I really like this character. The combination of insanity, stupidity, power, obsession, and being worshiped by others is all very wacky and interesting.

The last thread to touch on is the ongoing saga of Riley. I do like how brief his scenes are: we quickly get the just of his building-up anguish over his relationship with Buffy. Riley lets Buffy know that he's not pleased she's not letting him into her life. It's unfortunate that she really does have a good reason not to tell him the big Dawn revelation. Riley's beginning to get fed up with waiting for her to fully trust him. He wants a real deep relationship with Buffy. He wants to be there with her, in both the bad and the good. Although he also has a problem with the fact that Buffy isn't one to cry on another's shoulder very often: she lets loose her deepest emotions alone. When you have an intimate relationship, though, you're supposed to be able to share those deepest feelings. That's one of the scariest things about love: it often leaves you very vulnerable. It's obvious that Buffy either doesn't want that connection with Riley or just isn't ready at all for that kind of connection. So, I see both parties in this relationship making mistakes; they're both at fault here, although Riley really needs to understand Buffy's unique position as the Slayer. She often has special reasons and considerations not to be open about certain things.

Anyway, this is a solid episode which give Tara some lovin' that also furthers several underlying character threads in an excellent way. The plot missed the boat in execution and is hurt because of it, but I still very much enjoyed the whole package.



- Minor Pros/Cons (+/-)
Pros:
+  
Tara having been trying to "keep up" with Willow in the magic department, as well as being useful to the group. This is a concern she expressed in "Real Me" (5x02).
+  
Buffy moving out of her dorm room to help her mother with the illness. This is touching and respectable on Buffy's part, although I'm sure the new knowledge about Dawn is also a pressing reason.
+  
Riley and Xander having a boyish fight. These two have bonded a bit ever since Riley felt comfortable confiding in Xander in regards to his revelation about Buffy's non-love for him.
+  
Seeing Ben changing his clothes only to have Glory appear behind the stalking creature. This really doesn't give any hints as to thinking Ben and Glory are sharing a body, but is still very plausible. Cool.
+  
Buffy comparing Glory to Cordelia. "I'm pretty sure she dyes her hair!"
+  
Buffy being way overprotective of Dawn now. Riley even points it out.
+  
Sandy from "Doppelgangland" (3x16) returns! So cool that a byproduct of Vampire Willow is what helps push Riley's flirtation with the vampire world forward. I like how Riley spots that she's a vamp right away and makes a joke about it.
+  
Glory's closet full of high-end clothing.
+  
Tara casting a spell she thinks will only make her alleged demon side not visible to the Scoobies. But, like most magic, it backfires and blinds the group from seeing all demons. This works for the plot and with continuity.
+  
Harmony returning from her shopping spree. I really love Spike's extreme shudder in response to Harmony's stupidity.
+  
Spike grudgingly helping Buffy and not getting any credit for it because she can't see him.
+  
Anya's angry, "I've already been hurt once this month!" during the big fight.
+  
Spike's quick solution to the problem. "He hit my nose."
+  
Seeing Tara's birthday gifts. Giles gave her the magic ball. Dawn gave her a broomstick. Haha.
+  
Dawn says "only losers drink alcohol" and Riley and Giles both put their drinks down looking half-embarrassed while Buffy rolls her eyes.


- Foreshadowing
  • Spike says, "If the Slayer's gonna die, I want to watch!" Buffy dies in "The Gift" [5x22] and Spike's there watching. What a big difference in attitude between now and then though!


- Quotes
ANYA:  
But we just helped her [Buffy] move the stuff in a few days ago... (turns and sees Buffy) ...and it was fun!

ANYA:  
Thank you for coming. We value your patronage. Please come again for more purchases!

BUFFY:  
I saw a really cute sweater at Bloomy's ... but, I think I want me to have it.
GILES:  
And you are talking about what on earth?
BUFFY:  
Tara's birthday. We're at a loss.
GILES:  
You're in a magic shop, and you can't think what Tara would like. I believe you're both profoundly stupid.
XANDER:  
Well, we don't really know ... the kind of things witches like. What, are we gonna get her some cheesy crystal ball?
GILES:  
Bloody well better not. I've got mine already wrapped.

BUFFY:  
What? She [Dawn] shouldn't be going over there.
RILEY:  
Yeah, a lot of young people nowadays are experimenting with shortness. Gotta nip that in the bud.

SANDY:  
We ... could go somewhere else. Someplace more ... private.
RILEY:  
Ohhhh, Sandy, Sandy. It's no good. My heart belongs to another. Besides, I don't go out with vampires. Never interested in my intellect.

GLORY:  
Get your friends ... find the girl ... kill the girl ... okay baby? You have the cutest little suppurating sores! Has anyone ever told you that?

XANDER:  
You're dealing with all of us.
SPIKE:  
'Cept me.
XANDER:  
'Cept Spike.
SPIKE:  
I don't care what happens.


- Score Learn about the Grading Scale
75/100 B-
Flawed in some areas. Possibly lacking in character development and relevance or possessing a poor plot and/or villain. There's still a lot of good material mixed in with the mediocre.


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- Comments (43) View Today's Comments | Subscribe:

1.DingdongAug 5, 2006 (Sat)View This Person's Comments | Link
Pretty spot on. I don't like Glory in the episode all that much, but that's just because of Kraemer's performance, which at this point is rather annoying. I've never liked Glory all that much, anyway, until the last 4 episodes.

2.StunnAug 5, 2006 (Sat)View This Person's Comments | Link
I enjoyed this episode a lot. I didn't like Tara at first. I started watching Buffy at the end of Season Six on FX over a year ago. Shortly after I started watching, Tara was killed. I didn't care. So, season six and seven flew on by, and I started watching Buffy from Season One. Time flew and Tara was introduced. I still didn't like her. I was waiting and waiting for a reason for me to like her. I’m a Willow fan and I wasn’t really satisfied for the reason she turned gay. I'm making my mom watch Buffy and we're on the end of Season Four and my dear ol’ mother doesn't even like Tara. She's also a big Seth Green fan, so there might be a little bias there.

Family is the episode I started to like Tara. Everyone in the Scooby Gang made it clear they didn't know anything about Tara. She was the awkward one in the group... if you even consider her as part of the group. I did laugh at her cocky joke at the beginning of the episode. I’m a sap for those kind of jokes. At the end, when the father wanted Tara to go with him, Buffy said something like "OK, you can have her... but you're going to have to go through me first" and then the Scooby Gang backs her up. The whole gang stands up for Tara. It looks like they don't care but they really do. I loved it so much. It's one of my favorite moments in the Buffy series. I started to look at Tara with a different light.

I’m not planning on putting a lame comment on every review that I like the rest of the kids here. So, I just want to say I’m really enjoying your reviews MikeJer. I usually agree with everything you’re saying about the episode. I wish you would have reviewed Angel too. Ryan is good writer, I don’t agree with his opinions on the episodes. It’s too bad. I enjoyed Angel more than Buffy.

3.Ryan-RBAug 6, 2006 (Sun)View This Person's Comments | Link
What a way to be at odds. A compliment...and yet a titillating chance for a 'spirited discussion.' You should comment on the Angel reviews or hit up the forums; i'm always interested in varying points of view, especially since the Angel over Buffy fans are so few.

Anyway, if you want my sham of an excuse for commenting on this review, it's that i'm here to say that Mike has a pretty good eye. I never remembered that that was Sandy. I just finished re-watching S3 last week, so i'll have to pop in this ep. to double check.

4.MikeJerAug 7, 2006 (Mon)View This Person's Comments | Link
Thanks for sharing that story Stunn. Because Whedon so rarely goes for those heart-warming moments, the moment he does actually works.

While at this point it's impossible for me to say whether or not I will review Angel (and yes, it is a distinct possibility), that decision will definately not be made until after I am finished with BtVS, which currently is my favorite of the two shows (although I certainly love AtS).

5.StunnAug 7, 2006 (Mon)View This Person's Comments | Link
It kind of seems that I was coming off as a jerk after re-reading my comment. I didn’t mean to sound ungrateful that Ryan is doing the reviews because I don’t agree with his opinions. I'm glad someone like Ryan is doing the Angel reviews. I don't have to wait for MikeJer to do it and I don't have to read reviews from someone who completely misses the point. There’s always someone out there who hates a little thing for no apparent reason and it’s hard to reason with those people. It’s nice to read reviews that don’t make me mad at the end of the day, even when I don’t agree with what’s said. Speaking of which, I have read every single review. It’s everything but bad. I’m glad you both are wasting your time to do this… if you consider it a waste of time.

My favorite episodes are the ones with the moments I remember months after I watched the particular episode. Episodes like “Family” or Angel’s “Hero” may have single minded characters or illogical demons, but they both have moments that make the episode flaws bearable. I’m watching Roseanne right now just because I want to see more of Glenn Quinn and Family made me enjoy Tara even with her noticeably annoying flaws. I can understand why people don’t rate TV by it’s moments but I’m just weird like that mate.

6.fryrishAug 8, 2006 (Tue)View This Person's Comments | Link
I like this one quite a bit more than you, Mike. Despite it's flaws it always gets to me. Amber Benson gives one of her best performances in and there are some wonderful moments throughout.

7.JakeAug 8, 2006 (Tue)View This Person's Comments | Link
I think I liked Tara starting with the way she acted when Oz reappeared. I know what low self-esteem can be like, and I would have done the very thing she did. Guess I identify with her.

8.Ryan-RBAug 9, 2006 (Wed)View This Person's Comments | Link
Re: Stunn.

No worries. I suppose i don't emote sarcasm well enough in my writing; i took no offence whatsoever. And, no, i don't consider it a waste of time since i see how many people here are getting something out of it.

9.DavoOct 5, 2006 (Thu)View This Person's Comments | Link
I actually quite liked this episode, but then I do have a soft-spot for Tara as a character. The reason I think it works is because everything Tara does can be explained by her relationship to her family, who we see here for the first time. Your comments about her family being very one-dimensional are valid. However, to counter them I would say that if they had any redeeming qualities would Tara's lack of self-confidence really make any sense?
The lack of any sympathy from Beth towards Tara on first-viewing can seem kind of annoying. However, it is quite a dark way for the episode to end since the fate that awaits her will no doubt be a negative one: when she reaches 20 she will be treated exactly the same way as all the other women in her family. Beth represents the type of person Tara could be if she hadn't run away. Another undertone could be the anger her Dad feels could have been taken out on Beth, which again would make sense of her anger that Tara left, although this slightly more speculative.
Also remember, neither Xander's nor Willow's parents seem to have any redeeming qualities, it seems to be a running theme: and it also explains the importance of the Scooby-gang to each one of them over the course of the series, and what ultimately this episode is about.

10.AliApr 27, 2007 (Fri)View This Person's Comments | Link
I agree that her famliy apears to be one dimensional, but i think that her family serve one and only puprpose which is too give us some background on tara's childhood and where she's coming from, and i think that the purpose is fairly accomplished. Her family is really not the issue here tara is.

11.SarahMay 7, 2007 (Mon)View This Person's Comments | Link
I really liked this episode and think it deserved a higher score. I just don't think Tara was very likeable until this episode. I think a lot of people, me included, really loved Willow with Oz so seeing her with Tara just seemed off. I finally started to like Tara this episode and I love how we finally found out why Tara purposely ruined the spell to find out where the demons were in a previous episode. That made me mad at the time and now I have a reason for it. By the way great reviews!

12.Elnino14Nov 7, 2007 (Wed)View This Person's Comments | Link
I agree with most of what you said, Mike and although it's a good episode, it's really too slow.

I just wanted to comments on some of the comments:

Davo mentioned that Xander's parents and Willow's parents don't have any redeeming qualities...that's a pretty large assumption. I think it certainly is presented that way on screen...but I don't think it's necessarily true. Although they certainly have some negative qualities (Xander's drunk father, Willow's aloof, unconcerned mother) it's a large leap to no redeeming qualities. Willow's parents obviously cares enough to help her go to college, as Willow doesn't work. It's also really hard to tell either way since they're barely ever mentioned or seen in the series.

Many teenagers typically rebel against their parents and feel that they aren't understood at all (Willow's situation) and when they reach the early 20's they typically want to pull away. It's pretty natural and it's pretty typical of the case of Willow and Xander. Xander's problem was much more himself and his feelings of being useless than anything about his parents.

Tara vs OZ: Although I was on a similar boat about not liking Willow's relationship with Tara (and she's still one of my least favorite characters) after Oz left. It makes perfect sense in the context of the series. Willow USED TO BE just like Tara but she slowly gained confidence in the series...partly because of Oz. It would only make sense that Willow who is all grown up and doesn't really need someone who makes her feel confident anymore. Nobody knows WHY relationships really start or how love works and I'm still not exactly sure why Willow is attracted to Tara but it's possible that Willow sees the same thing in Tara that Oz saw in Willow.

Meh just some thoughts. I'm not a huge fan of this episode, and it had a lot of potential, but it just didn't work for me as a whole. The small moments were great but the overall was rather blah.

13.gabrielleabelleNov 11, 2007 (Sun)View This Person's Comments | Link
I actually really like this episode, but I'd be hard-pressed to pin down a reason as to why.

I like Tara. I've always liked Tara cause I tend to sympathize with the shy outsiders. Also, I live in the south, and I know families that are eerily similar to Tara's. Yeah, it seems like a stereotype. But I grew up with some of those stereotypes, so seeing that she came from a family like that made her even more interesting.

Plus, I'm sucker for cuddly Willow/Tara scenes.

14.buffyholicNov 21, 2007 (Wed)View This Person's Comments | Link
I agree with Mikejer about Tara´s family. I don´t like it when they only see a black and white world. That bugs me a lot. But aside that, I just love when the Sccobies stick out for Tara and say she´s family. Very sweet and the final scene with Willow and Tara is also amazing.

15.HairPullerJan 23, 2008 (Wed)View This Person's Comments | Link
I also find it foreshadowing that in the scene where Buffy says: "We're family" and everybody - Giles, Dawn, Buffy, Willow, Tara, Xander, and Anya - are standing together, Spike is included there, in this family too (but just in the background).

16.WorldWithoutShrimpJan 23, 2008 (Wed)View This Person's Comments | Link
However, Riley is not, foreshadowing his imminent departure.

17.bigmoneygripNov 12, 2008 (Wed)View This Person's Comments | Link
I'm a sucker for this ep. I feel so sorry for Tara, who is such a sweet girl. Loved how it came together in the end, with the "We're Family" scene.


18.EmilyMay 24, 2009 (Sun)View This Person's Comments | Link
I agree with Davo- the other families on this show are pretty one-dimensional except for Buffy's. So it's not such a big shock to me to find that Tara's family is, in your words, one-dimensional.

I happen to disagree with you over the shallowness of the one-dimensionality- I come from a community and family where men very much like to have the power over the women. So I think maybe Joss was trying to comment on this mind-set. By showing how one-dimensional Tara's family is, he's trying to make a point about men who are like that. After all, from what I've heard, there has been a lot of talk connecting feminism to BtVS, so maybe this is just another aspect of it.

buffyholic, you may not like that they see everything so black and white, but that's the reality of most of the world. I don't know where you grew up or what your family is like, but there are a lot of men in this world who do view women like that. I know- it's pretty scary and actually pretty sad that it's 2009 and the world hasn't progressed that far yet, but that's the way it is.

19.SeleneJul 10, 2009 (Fri)View This Person's Comments | Link
I never much cared for this episode. It felt too much like it was trying to force us to accept Tara, both as Willow's girlfriend and as a part of the Scoobies (Much like The Killer In Me did with Kennedy in s7) For me it doesn't work, but then I am not a Willow/Tara fan. I'm noy a Willow/Oz fan either, but that's as far as I'll go as I don't feel like being ripped apart for my choice of who would be perfect for Willow. But one thing puzzled me. You mention what a bitch cousin Beth is, and she really is, but doesn't the revelation about Tara and the 'no demon there' apply to her too? Isn't she now free to escape the clutches (and cliches) of the men in that family?

20.LeeluJul 10, 2009 (Fri)View This Person's Comments | Link
@Selene: Yes, it does pertain to Beth, as well, but she's been brainwashed her whole life by her family's beliefs. That isn't going to change in an instant just because someone told her once that there is no demon in the women in her family. She's more than likely going to be permanently messed up.

21.IdaAug 20, 2009 (Thu)View This Person's Comments | Link
This is one of my favorite episodes. Maybe it's because I like Tara so well.

22.SunburnOct 28, 2009 (Wed) @ 1:56pmView This Person's Comments | Link
"I happen to disagree with you over the shallowness of the one-dimensionality- I come from a community and family where men very much like to have the power over the women."

I'm with you there, Emily. I thought the family were pretty much the definition of an abusive family, with some excellent touches, such as Beth's genuine horror at the idea of Tara's father and brother having to 'do for themselves' without a woman to keep house for them. The fact that she clearly expected Tara to be equally shocked at the idea rang 100% true to me. This is how some people really do regard women - not full human beings, just chattels and domestic slaves.

23.CirrusNov 3, 2009 (Tue) @ 3:19pmView This Person's Comments | Link
You know, it always annoys me when people describe the whole "Spike having sex with Harmony, while fantasising about fighting with Buffy" as amusing. Sure, it was sort of humourous that he wasn't actually just enjoying sex with Harmony, but I found it rather sad and disturbing. In a good way of course, if that's possible. X) I love the development Spike gets through all these non-arc episodes, gradually but very powerfully.

I just find it sad, not funny. Like a lot of Spike's lines, actually -- they're very, very funny (and I do laugh at them, unlike here!) but they still have an underlying, unmentioned sadness to them. But I found that scene particularly so.

I don't really like Tara, finding her rather dull, so her dull family didn't help me like this episode. XD But the non-Tara stuff was very good; just makes me admire Whedon as a writer so much.

24.ZapheDec 5, 2009 (Sat) @ 4:25pmView This Person's Comments | Link
Cirrus: I totally agree with you post. I also found the Spike/Harmony scene very sad as well. The look on his face and the way how he buried his face conveys so much. Thanks to JM's acting you see how the character feels from one extreme to another (the sexual pleasure to the huge disappointment from the realisation that it isnt real)

I too find the whole Spike Buffy story Arc very sad on the whole. Spike has been rediculed and undermined so much and so many times about his love and his effort in being Buffy-worthy that he totally doesnt believe in himself in whether Buffy truly ever loves him just a little (in Btvs S7) and whether he is indeed a champion (in Ats S5)

25.RandyDec 17, 2009 (Thu) @ 10:09pmView This Person's Comments | Link
Emily: I agree with you that some people really are a lot like the flat characters portrayed by Tara's family, but I still think it was a bit of a cop out from a writing point of view. The episode would've been a lot richer if there was some complexity to Tara's family, rather than the straight good vs evil storyline. I think Joss made the exact same mistake in season 7 with Caleb's character. When he first appeared, I found him really fascinating and utterly scary -- it seemed like they were going to develop him into something interesting, but he never went beyond the one-dimensional, misogynistic supervillian. And what a waste of terrific actors like Amy Adams and Nathan Fillion!

26.SvenApr 24, 2010 (Sat) @ 12:44amView This Person's Comments | Link
One thing about Riley and Buffy's relationship here that I found interesting. It's true that Buffy has good reasons for not telling Riley about Dawn... but now imagine that Dawn had appeared in early S2, or maybe S3. I'm fairly sure that Buffy would've told Angel about Dawn, trusted him like she does Giles here.

That's a pretty strong indication that Buffy's feelings about Riley just aren't as deep as her feelings for Angel were, or as deep as Riley would like them to be.

27.G1000May 25, 2010 (Tue) @ 5:55amView This Person's Comments | Link
I've been waiting for Tara to get more developed, and this episode did the trick. Excellent. Don't see how this gets a B-, truthfully. It was as good as "The Replacement".

28.fray-adjacentJun 7, 2010 (Mon) @ 5:57pmView This Person's Comments | Link
Sven -- I agree that in S2 or S3, Buffy probably would have told Angel about Dawn. But, post "Innocence," this would have been a huge mistake! I agree with Willow that Buffy has a blind spot for Angel, and so if something that she learns from the experience is that she should be selective about who she trusts with life and death information, that's a good thing. Of course it's awful for Riley, who doesn't understand why Buffy needs to keep things from him, but it's the right decision. Imagine if he went off, joining the hardly-trustworthy commandos, with that knowledge?

The major theme of this episode, that family doesn't need to mean blood kin, and that queer people and people coming from abusive families in particular often have to form their own families, is important and not often seen on TV. The problem with this episode is that they sort of hit us over the head with that theme by cramming it into a single isolated episode. If Tara's relationships with her father, brother, and cousin had a little more time to develop on screen, and in contrast with her relationships with the Scoobies, I think it would have felt more authentic.

In the final confrontation with Tara's family and the Scoobies, it always seems that "Cousin Beth" flashes a look of envy and fear at Tara just before she comes down on her. I always thought that she was, on some level, conflicted about staying with the family herself, but in the end still did her duty.

29.FitriJul 7, 2010 (Wed) @ 11:28pmView This Person's Comments | Link
I think I can say with absolute certainty this is one of the better episodes of the best Buffy season. I didn't find it boring at all but instead found it to be one of the episodes with most importance in season five. Along with "The Body" (due to Joyce's death) and "No Place Like Home" (for Dawn's backstory), I think "Family" is truly important as it acknowledged Tara's significance, and backstory. I for one, would give it at least 85.

30.EnvyJul 21, 2010 (Wed) @ 3:28pmView This Person's Comments | Link
One thing I don't understand here is why Cousin Beth went back with Mr. Maclay and Tara's brother after it was revealed that the whole "Women = Demons" thing was a load. If I was her, I would've ran so far away from those guys.

31.JasonAug 30, 2010 (Mon) @ 11:02amView This Person's Comments | Link
One of my favorite episodes ever-- in tears the whole last 15 minutes-- favorite ever final shot.

32.Michael CarruthersOct 14, 2010 (Thu) @ 11:17amView This Person's Comments | Link
I have a bit of a soft spot for this episode. It always makes me feel more cheered up when I'm a bit down, and I think the final ten minutes are truly moving. There are problems with the ep, MikeJer covered it perfectly, especially Tara's one-dimensional family members, but I would probably say an 85 - guess that's the softie in me rather than the critic.

I thought the demons in the ep were pretty cool too. They looked like psychopathic hell clowns. ;)

Interesting to see that Tara does a spell to cover her demon appearance - using magic as a quick-fix to these kind of problems is definitely a character trait in Willow, I thought not so much in Tara (at least in the next season).

33.Nathan.TaurusOct 29, 2010 (Fri) @ 6:02pmView This Person's Comments | Link
On a re-watch I found in the Magic Box that Xander calls Buffy "sweety". Hmmmm.
* Xander and Riley mock-fighting was great. They are like brothers.
* Tara and her insect reflection joke. "It's still not funny."
* Giles calling Buffy and Xander both profoundly stupid for not knowing what Tara would like even though they are in a magic shop.

Bad:
* When Dawn mocks drinking alcohol even Buffy and Xander put there drinks down. They would also have to have a mark on their hands but don't think they do.
* Willow and Tara floating at the end. A bit too far.

Trivia:(SPOILERS) Tara does a spell because she is frightened over what the gang might see of her. Willow does a similar one in 'Same Time, Same Place' and a disappearance occurs.

34.KatieJDec 20, 2010 (Mon) @ 7:23amView This Person's Comments | Link
The weak link in this episode is not the flat representation of Tara's family (they are single episode peeps; no big deal), it is using witchcraft to discuss lesbianism, and lack of familial acceptance. It seems to jam up the movement of characters and plot, and this episode takes the fizzle out later in S6 when magic represents addiction. I do appreciate Tara's reaction to her father in the Magic Shop, even going so far as to ONLY introduce the patriarchal figure in her new friend group, Giles. Later, Tara's father was in her room, and picked up an almost phallic-shaped quartz, saying, you wanted me to find these "toys." It lacks the elegance of other series metaphors.

35.MykeApr 6, 2011 (Wed) @ 4:28pmView This Person's Comments | Link
Too be honest I loved this episode, it has everything that was missing from the horrible 4th season.

36.deadlegoMay 5, 2011 (Thu) @ 6:16pmView This Person's Comments | Link
@mike: you totally put the finger on what I love most about BtVS and AtS which is that things aren't black and white. The exploration of the grey areas is for me, from a philosophical standpoint, the most interesting part of these shows. Of course there are many other things I love; the humour, the plot mysteries to puzzle out, the continuity and I could go on and on. But talking about what makes me stop, think and wonder about: the most fascinating thing is this grey area which sneaks itself into so many areas of life.

Right from the beginning of BtVS we are introduced to this, even when the show is mostly lighthearted, back in season 1 we are introduced to Angel-a prime example of how things are not always clear cut. He is a demon yet has a soul, however even with a soul, we see as the series goes on, one can commit terrible acts. And also we see later with spike and drusilla, as pointed out by the judge, a souless being can be capable of love and in spike's case can go on to save lives.

Good and bad, and right and wrong are constructs of society, and as such many many things can fall into the grey area. What is good for one person can be bad for someone else. It is an arrogant and narrow-minded view to think that one has the ability to definitively say exactly what should fall into which category of wrong, right, good and bad.

Therefore if you are writing a show like BtVS which, although having a fantasy theme, wants us to identify with the characters and find them realistic, it is very important to try to make them well-rounded. Characters, like Tara's family, who have no depth or subtleties to them, when placed into a show which is normally so well-rounded in it's depiction of secondary and even one- characters may as well be cardboard cutouts or props in that they stand out as much as using cardboard cutouts would. I know i'm over exaggerating somewhat but failing to give characters depth really exacerbates the problem when you are using a plot solely to service the characters without any other relevance. It highlights the fact that the writers have no real interest in these people, they are just there because something had to be to bring about certain revelations.

A lot of shows never give much depth to their secondary and one off characters (or their main ones for that matter!) but in a show that prides itself on how relatable viewers find the characters, even in ones that are total fantasy e.g. certain vampires and werewolves etc. we can understand them and relate their emotions to reality and to our own, it is lazy to add one-dimentional characters. I find it crutial for us to be able to at least get some idea of people's motivations, even if there is no grey area shown and a character is just 'bad', it makes a massive difference to at least understand why. For a show that, in 'pangs', made me feel sorry for a vampire that he wasn't able to kill people and suck their blood, it should be able to do better.

However, having said all that, I really liked this episode on the whole. The only other thing that I had a major problem with was the floating that wollow and tara do at the bronze: I can suspend my disbelief enough considering it's true that our minds tend to gloss over what we don't understand, but it's just too far into the realm of cheesy for me.

All things considered I'd give this (on Mike's grading scale as always) a 'B'.

37.missy 101May 18, 2011 (Wed) @ 3:18pmView This Person's Comments | Link
i love two pieces of dialouge here
first is a spike dialuoge
spike:you're a piece of work....I like you
next is a willow and mr. mclay piece
mr. mclay:it's not your decision young lady
willow:(snapping back)I know that
and then willow is all calm again
i also love how buffy says they are family with spike in the nack because he isn't family until the season seven episode "Potnetial"

38.JessiJun 17, 2011 (Fri) @ 7:58pmView This Person's Comments | Link
I was surprised by this review at firs, because this was actually one of my favorite episodes. But after thinking about it, I dont think you can appreciate the episode (this way) without having the experience of not really fitting in with your family (your given family). I was bawling through parts of this episode because that's the way I grew up, never really fitting in and feeling like a part of the family, they were always just people I related to. I felt so happy for, and jealous, of Tera at the end.

39.ErinJul 2, 2011 (Sat) @ 10:20pmView This Person's Comments | Link
Though flawed, I thought this was a beautiful episode. The bit at the end when the Scoobies stand up for Tara was really moving.

40.HarrisonSep 4, 2011 (Sun) @ 9:33amView This Person's Comments | Link
I think that one of the best parts of the episode is the very clear distinction between 'blood kin' and 'family' that Whedon makes. As someone who has never had a very strong relationship with his family and had to find that type of bond elsewhere, I appreciated that a lot.

I think this episode marks an important difference between Willow and Tara's use of magic. Tara does a spell for selfish reasons and it backfires, with nearly catastrophic consequences. This is a trait we see out of Willow quite a bit, that in the future Tara will warn against constantly, and I think the reason for that is in this episode. Tara, who I consider to be one of most grounded and level-headed members of the Scoobies, learns from her mistake in this episode and never makes it again. In contrast Willow continues to make this mistake (Something Blue, Forever, Bargaining, Tabula Rasa, Wrecked, etc.) leading up to her Dark Willow arc in season 6.

Excellent episode, in spite of its flaws.

41.MerrySep 6, 2011 (Tue) @ 10:07amView This Person's Comments | Link
I notice that in the fight scene when Tara's family comes in and see her on the ground after being hit her dad shows genuine concern, which almost counts as non-one-sidedness...maybe?

42.SarahJan 30, 2012 (Mon) @ 11:52amView This Person's Comments | Link
Hey Mike. I've been enjoying your reviews for a while now. You've done an excellent job and I agree with you 99% of the time. I tend not to comment much since it's been so many years since you've written these posts, but there are a few occasions when I can't resist saying something. I don't mean to dwell on disagreement, b/c like I said, I LOVE the work you've done, but I've been noticing a few comments you've made about homosexuality across different reviews that strike me as naive.

Perhaps you've outgrown these views over these years...nonetheless I must point out that Tara being a lesbian and the men in Tara's family being oppressive are not necessarily connected. A straight woman can have oppressive men in her family and a lesbian can have extremely caring men in her family. Assuming there's a logical "reason" why Tara is gay kind of implies there's an element of choice, whereas we tend not to make such assumptions about heterosexuality. I'm not here to debate whether being gay is a choice or about nature vs. nurture - people have their own opinions about that based on whatever reason and the bottom line is we don't know - but I just wanted to point out subtle assumptions we tend to make about gay people that may not be true.

43.MikeJerJan 30, 2012 (Mon) @ 9:37pmView This Person's Comments | Link
I completely agree with everything you've just said, Sarah, and agree it's important to make those distinctions. When I was originally writing some of these reviews (particularly through Season 5), I was still in college and knew people who were very confused about themselves and others on such issues. Due to my own lack of knowledge in this regard, I've written some stuff in some of these reviews that don't represent my current view on the matter. I have modified some specific passages in certain reviews that had stuff that could easily be construed as offensive to some individuals. For the overall picture, though, I'll be taking care of it in due time.

This is one of many reasons I'm going back through my reviews one last time and 'cleaning them up' with improved writing quality, typo-checking, and a more consistent level of quality. Over the time period I reviewed the show -- the first time I'd ever done such a thing -- I improved as a I went along. In that process I learned more about the show, more about myself, and more about others. So I think you'll find that when I'm done fixing up all these reviews (I'm going to be starting Season 2 in the next few months), a much more consistent and informed position about the show, its themes, and my personal experience as it relates to them will emerge.

Thanks for the comment!


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